Brynn's 3rd Day

What a nice way to wake up with a perfect angle being brought to me.

But she was jaundiced so she had to go on the light. At least the lights they had with her were better then the ones with Wes. She felt more secure so she didn't cry as much. She still wasn't a fan. I have to laugh at how sci fi it is to put my child on blue lights to make her better.

Brynn got a break from the lights because Grandma and Grandpa came up to visit.

But then she had to go back on the lights.

The days following child birth are not the most attractive of me, but I wanted to get a picture of me with my angle. This one isn't too bad, and Brynn is cute enough for the both of us.

This was the snowy day that I didn't get to see Wes. I really really missed him. My dad and step-mom offered to have him stay at their house over the weekend, but I decided I would really really miss him too much (I have thought I might miss him too much initially and this confirmed it).

Brynn's 2nd Day

Bret and my mom took Wes home, and I went to bed early the night Brynn was born. I was actually almost gitty about getting sleep. I also didn't have to get up that much during the night for all the hospital stuff.

The next morning my dad, step-mom, and step-sister drove up for a visit. It was so good to see them, and I am sure they were happy to see my cute little girl.

Brynn with her Punka.

They also brought me these beautiful roses.

When Wes came later that day we took Brynn for a little walk. I stopped to take a picture of how cute they were. I only had my hand off the bassinet for a minute, but Wes decided it would be fun for Baby Sister if he ran down the hall pushing her. Thankfully my mother was with us because the day after a c-section my running skills where not up to par.

The best big brother holding the most precious little sister.

Naturally I took a ton of pictures, and I am posting many of them because they make my heart happy.

Brynn making her pirate face.

This picture makes me laugh so hard. I can't believe I got a picture of a two-year old toddler and a one-day old baby looking at the camera at the same time.

Really just melts my heart. I love to see the relationship my kids already have.

Brynn randomly licking Wesley's hand. Cracks me up.

My precious baby girl. I am so glad her have her.

Little Toes and Littlest Toes

The Passing of Time

Time is a strange thing. It seems to drag on and fly by. Two weeks ago was my due date, and I was so worried about the baby getting her safely. Now she is 11 days old, and I cannot believe how fast time has gone by. At the same time it seems like I have known her forever.

The Friday after Brynn was born I didn't get to see Wes because he wasn't feeling well and the roads were bad. I had lots of time with my (relatively) quite little new born. The next day I was so happy to see Wes, but I could not quite figure out how my little baby boy had changed into a toddler with nonstop commentary.

I started to freak out a little about how fast Brynn would grow up. But then we left the hospital and the reality of no sleep and not being able to pick up my toddler for eight weeks set in. I am excited to recover and be able to do more.

I have been in a conflict of wanting time to go faster and slower. My mom left today and Bret works tomorrow. My mother-in-law is coming tomorrow, but not before I have to take the kids for their check ups. It seems most moms can do this with no problem, but I have been worried about how I am going to do it. But I don't want to wish away this special time. Factor in the sleep deprivation and hormones...well I was driving myself a little crazy.

I have decided to I need to stop worry so much about it. I am going to enjoy the time I am in now and trust in the Lord to strengthen me. All things are possible through Christ.

Time is strange, but life is meant to be enjoyed.

Brynn's 1st Day

Bret and I got to the hospital at 5:45am. I hadn't slept much the night before because I went to bed late because I was cleaning and getting ready and I kept waking up to make sure she was moving because I was worried about her. It was comforting when I got hooked up to the monitor and could tell her heart was going strong.

The c-section was scheduled for 7:45am, and the OR was being cleaned from the last c-section when my mom brought Wes around 8:00am. Wes was so funny and excited. He told my mom,

"Baby Sister stuck. Doctor fix it." Such a smart funny kid. He also talked about going to the "lollipop doctor" and going to the "doctor's house." The doctor's office is in the hospital, and my friend who is the MA for my doctor always gave Wes lollipops when we went in.

It was nice to cuddle and read to him before I went in. My tummy is totally lopsided in this picture.

Here we are sporting our "Baby Sister party hats." Wes was being very serious at first, but he really liked it. He made sure to tell anyone who commented on his hat that it was a Baby Sister party hat. I think all the nurses on the floor heard all about Wesley's baby sister and how excited he was for her.

I walked back to the OR when they were ready for me, and sat on the table to get the spinal block. Bret hugged me while I got it which made it much better. I was surprised at how much faster it was then my epidural with Wes. This time the anesthesiologist didn't get delayed with my scoliosis or have to wait for me while I was vomiting like with Wes. I did vomit a little after the spinal. Which can I tell you it is hard to do while lying on your back. Still not my worst vomiting experience....not the best either.

It took much longer for them to start the surgery then with Wes. It almost felt like the where dilly dallying. Which they weren't, but with Wes they were moving as fast

as they could. Which is good because he was in distress.

I could feel more of what they were doing this time. Not pain at first, but I could feel more then pressure. Ugh, and I could hear the cutting. Continuous snip snip snip like cutting canvas. I

mentioned that, and I think they turned up the radio for me. So considerate and very appreciated. Then the spinal started wearing off and that started to not feel good. Luckily it was sharp cutting pain, but cramping crushing pain. I am making it sound worse then it was. It wasn't traumatic or horrible or anything like that. I did start to worry that if it wore all the way off it would be traumatic and could effect bonding with my child. That does sometimes happen with traumatic deliveries. Luckily, it was just fine. They put something in my IV to help, and that was good.

Once she was born they held her up so I could see her, and then they cleaned her off and

weighed her to the left of me so I could watch her. Wes was taken care of in a spot where the

curtain blocked. It was so nice and exciting to watch her, and it distracted from the pain. Plus,

Bret holding my hand and stroking my face helped as well.

Look at my sweet little angle.

Everyone mentioned how big she was once they pulled her out (side note: Isn't funny that they can just cut a baby out now of days. Really it's kind of funny, and something I am grateful for.) My doctor said it was a good thing we did a c-section given her size and the size if her head. He also cut off a little growth off my ovary. It turned out to be benign, and I am glad he could just take care of it while they were already there. The doctor also said the placenta was calcifying which happens when the placenta gets too old. I felt so happy to see her and have her safe and sound in the world.

So happy.

I was able to hold her while in the operating room, and I love it. I had to wait for a long time before I got to hold him.

Bret got a picture of Brynn as she was being pulled. It's cool that you can see some of my organs. I am way glad to have it, but I am not going to post it because that is too much for the internet.

She has the cutest chubby cheeks. Her face didn't stay as full. She lost a few ounces. She was 8lb 13 oz when she was born and was 8 lb 6 oz five days later. I thing she lost most of the weight in her cheeks and chin. Still the cutest little cheeks.

Brynn was crying in the nursery as they got her ready. My mom and Wes watched out the window. Wesley was very concerned about her crying. He told my mom, "They bonk Baby Sister on the head and make her cry. You tell the no hurt baby sister." My mom told them the nurses weren't hurting her. Wes told my mom, "Tell nurses not bonk baby sister." My mom explained a little more, and then he was okay. I love how protective he is of his baby sister.

Wesley was so excited to see and hold his little sister.

He was curious about all her screaming at bath time.

Brynn was not a fan of the bath at first...

But once they wrapped her up warm and cozy she enjoyed her hair being washed.

Strikingly handsome and a little dazed.

My family! Oh, I love it!

One of the most happy moments of my life. I am amazed at how happy one person can be. It makes me wonder how happy heaven. This is having a little bit of having Heaven on Earth.

My mom holding my little girl.

Welcome to our family precious one!

Brynn Stephanie

November 16, 2011

9:26 am

8 lb 13 oz

Just Kidding...Turns Out Tomorrow is the Big Day

The hospital called at 5:00pm to let me know my c-section had been changed to Wednesday morning at 7:45am. So I went from having 40 hours to 15. I am so relieved though. I have had the worst feeling about going over to long. So in a few hours I will be holding my little baby girl!

Here I am on Sunday exactly 40 weeks.

Here I am tonight. I look tired, but today I haven't felt great so whatever.

Playing outside with my little guy one last time before the baby comes.

I get to hold my little one so soon!

Thursday, November 17th, 2011 12:00PM

I went to my doctor today, and no progress. I am so grateful for prayer because I do not know how I would have made the decision without the Lord's help. The doctor said we could keep waiting until next Monday or try to induce. I didn't feel good about either decision. I really don't think I should go over too far with this baby, and it's not that I am tired of being pregnant. I just have a strong feeling not to. The hospital couldn't get me into tomorrow, my doctor isn't in on Wednesday. So Thursday is the day.

I feel okay about it. Terrified, but okay. I had really hoped to v-back, but I knew the chances of a c-section where higher this time.

My dear friend had a planned c-section today, and listening her talk about preparing for it helped me feel better. She was just so calm and matter of fact about it. Plus, everything I have heard is that planned c-sections are way better then emergency. So lets hope it's true for me. Even if it is as hard, I know the Lord will help me. I am also so blessed to have wonderful family and friends. I don't know what I would do without them. I also just keep reminding myself that I did it once I can do it again.

I am getting so excited to meet this little girl...I can't wait to hold her...to smell her...to kiss her...

Really it is so worth it. I am so grateful to be a mother. It really is such a blessing.

Going to be the Best Big Brother

Wesley loves his baby sister. He talks to her and about her constantly. He likes to climb under blankets, lift up my shirt, and lay his head on my tummy to talk and sing to his sister. The other day we drove by the hospital. I told him that is where his baby sister was going to be born and talked about what the day will be like. He spent the next several minutes talking about his baby sister, and then started talking about holding her. We haven't talked much about that, but we have looked at pictures of the next door neighbors holding their baby sister. I wonder if that is where he got it from.

This picture is from a few weeks ago. The sea horse was Baby Sister, and the Kmart pharmacist doll was Daddy.

Wesley got a teddy bear that laughs from Grandma Les and my dad for his birthday. Wesley started calling it funny baby sister, and played with it like a little baby.

Last week I packed up the doll we planned on giving him in the hospital bag. We had planned on giving it to him when the baby was born. We hadn't planned on him unzipping and getting into the hospital bag. This morning he got really excited and started shouting, "Baby Sister! Baby Sister!" So I guess he gets it now. He had so much fun with the doll. He changed her diaper on the changing pad. Here he is having her fall down.

Here he is kissing her all better and making her not cry anymore because she fell down.

He also insisted Baby Sister sit next to him with a bib on while he ate lunch.

I was able to get him dressed for church pretty easy because I told him he needed to hurry so we could get Baby Sister dressed. He has played with the doll all day doing all sorts of things, but mostly the baby bonks her head, and Wesley kisses her better.

Today at church he saw a baby girl and really really wanted to hold her. I think we are going to have to be very clear about rules with holding his sister.

I am so glad he is excited for his sister. I love how sweet and gentle he is when he talks about her. I love my children so much, and I hope they are great friends.